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Holyfuckingshit, I am...
out of options || unmotivated || depressed

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After being laid-off from my job in January 2009, my young children and I have "relocated" 3 times while I looked for work, moving from relative to relative. We went from a typical middle-class American existence - I was a hardworking, well-educated executive with a long stable career, a beautiful home, excellent credit, great schools, beloved pets, with wonderful friends and neighbors, and earning well over $100k a year (and even had a million dollar life insurance policy!)

I am now broke, my savings almost completely depleted and I now share a tiny spare room with my 2 kids. I am on the cusp of being a complete financial burden to my relatives ... and I wake up in the middle of the night, every night, in a cold sweat, so ashamed that I wasn't able to prevent this from happening and terrifed at the prospect of the inevitable poverty and hardships my kids are about to face.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on Nov 19, 2010 at 5:15 PM

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HFS

Everything blew-up 5 years ago. My wife found a charge to a massage parlor. (I justified that I was paying for something my wife use to enjoy but refused to do anymore)

I love my wife and want to stay together. We were in therapy for two year. I have managed to keep it in my pants for the last 5 years. But i am so close to saying fuck it. she wont talk about how it bothers her. She makes promises and doesn't follow through.

But when it comes right down to it, I was in the wrong... I am trying to be the best husband I can, but I don't know how much longer I can take it.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on Apr 11, 2010 at 3:34 PM

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Well, I am lacking motivation and am depressed but thats not my problem. I drink too much, tripped too much and ran into some WEIRD shit. Don't trip too much if you've already fucked your life up. It's finally getting better. Ever try to poke your best friends eye through the back of their skull because they were attacking you with psychic magick from hell? Neither had I! Finally saw him again; he said it was primarily his fault. HIS fault?! Be careful out there all you crazy kids. Beware the Nephilim. (and I can't get laid- waaaaa!)

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on May 13, 2012 at 3:11 AM

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Why are you out of options?
I have found myself living in a shotgun shack. I have found myself in another part of the world. I have said to myself, "my god, what have I done." Thank you to David Byrne for summarizing my life...and predicting it.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on Oct 19, 2012 at 1:33 AM

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I know I'm not alone, but I am so angry that my life is on hold. I have been unemployed since December 2007, and still don't get why I can't find ANYTHING. My unemployment is long exhausted and had to take money from relatives and my 401k to survive. Because of this I am trapped here. I live in an area with no jobs and most of my neighbors have money and believe those of us without jobs are lazy. I want desperately to move near the guy I love (which incidentally lives near the top two areas for jobs in Illinois) but can't until I find a job. So I apply for jobs near him and still nothing. In this year I had exactly three interviews, one in person and two phone interviews, all rejections.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on May 27, 2010 at 1:50 PM

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I have no more money, have some nice things to sell that may give me some money back to last me two months. There are no jobs that I can find, no money in the bank, no money whatsoever, have a pickup truck which is all I have to show for that will sell for a maximum of $1000 dollars. Im renting a room at low cost housing, but if I owned my own house, I probably would sell it so I could live for some years till I find a decent job. I feel like a worthless piece of shit, I wonder if it would do any good to just put a nice 45 hollow point bullet through my brain... I think not, but it sure is tempting at some depressing points. I feel like I have good morals, but Im slipping into these strange phases where Im willing to do just about anything to make me feel better about my worthless life such as cheating on my spouse and starting a new life in some crazy fucking way. FML, how the fuck am I really going to get ahead in today's economy?
I just really hope to God that I have the strength to restrain myself from ending my life due to financial problems.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on Mar 10, 2011 at 1:27 AM

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For the past few weeks my mom has become extremely confused thinking my dad is still alive and refusing to come home. She has also been saying the same about my brother and asking everyone how she can get a hold of him in case of an emergency. She is angry that they aren't calling her or visiting.

I just don't know what to say to calm her down. When I tell her they've passed or gone she gets angry w/me. She gets extremely agitated and becomes fixated on the subject. I've tried distraction, changing the subject, etc., but it doesn't seem to sway her.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on Mar 30, 2011 at 12:01 PM

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HFS.

My name is Gordon Freeman. I just woke up on a train a few nights ago, a train I don't remember getting on. I got off, and this fucking camera thing popped out of nowhere and blinded me when it took a picture. There's some balding, socio-communist asshole that is talking on some giant-ass t.v., spreading some sort of propoganda bullshit. I tried to pick up my bags to leave the station, and some officer hit me with some sort of electrical baton, exclaiming that the bags that clearly had my name on it weren't mine. I just left the station with nothing but the clothes on my back. Thankfully, I came to some sort of community house where some guys let me crash for the night. However, the next day there was a police raid and me and a few other guys had to escape via the rooftops. I've been living on the streets for the past few days, and only now have I managed to find a public library with free computers/internet access. This was one of the only sites I found not blocked by the government. If someone reads this, please help me. I am currently in some city named Nova Prospeckt, but I don't know what country I am in.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on May 16, 2011 at 7:46 PM

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So Im a musician. Singer,songwriter,producer, photographer, graphic designer, studio engineer and video editor. A one man show if you wish.

I made really good songs and moved to a big city in order to develop the whole thing and try to realize my vision.

People start to like my stuff, get musicians, fire them for being lazy, get more musicians, then fire them for being lazy too, decide to go solo and get 3 investors to finance a million dls for the national promo campaign and biz positioning, people extortion me for that money (which I never had in my hands) and since I cant give it to them they steal all my shit such as instruments, equipment, tv, credit cards, hard drives with all my music tracks, set my apt on fire and threaten to kill me if i show my face again. Oh and they raped me and beat me up as well.

This happened a month after my niece of 14 shot herself in the head, which happened 3 months after my best friend got robbed and murdered.

I told everyone close to me about the extortion incident to alert them and hopefully avoid them from being surprised by these assholes... and in return I get ignored by everyone, be taken as a madman and as a joke, everybody decides to hate me.

Lost all money, all stuff, all connections and even now have to re-record the music.

This is all because of money. I fucking hate money. Theres a black hole in the center of our galaxy pulling us closer every day and all we can think of is money money money. I just want to make my art. Why must I be some kind of social skills jedi, Im a polite and hard working person. Wtf is wrong with the world??

Posted by htzl who is out of options on Mar 22, 2013 at 2:54 AM

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HFS

Almost 40
Single
No occupation, no industry
A bullshit BS degree that gets me nowhere
Have never made a lot of money
Worked survival sales jobs which I will never again.
Switched to a secretary last year, and hate it.
Can't go back to school, have to work for rent bene's my car, do not want incur debt (really can't at my age). Will still have the same skill set.
People smart, socially conscience and smart, cultured, savvy, great communication skills, but not book smart- struggled for years and years since high school. Don't remember a lot.
Have only had full bene's once in the last twenty years for 3 years only. (now I have only health)
Going to try AGAIN to learn PowerPoint and Excel- I currently don't use (never really have), so no use, you lose it. Know basic excel and PP.
No savings
Scrape by
No more vacations
It is such a downward spiral for so long. Tired. Depresses me.
Hate when people tell me to get a new job. Not so great track record or references (the ones I do have are spectacular). Too much competition and won't get selected for lack of skills, and track record: read will never have bene's.
Have ALWAYS excelled at my jobs- last sales job, traveled and was a top performer. A great employee, never miss work. Dedicated.
Outlook for the future is bleak as all analysts predict where the future will be contract work, temp hires, very little businesses will hire so they don't have to pay bene's retirement or paid vacations- it is so bleak, don't tell me it is my attitude, being real and these are the facts.

Posted by Anonymous who is out of options on Apr 9, 2010 at 12:52 PM

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